just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
