someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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