If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize