You can't special order awesome
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
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You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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