put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The Olympian is in my bed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
