I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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