im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
