just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
