I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
