He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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