i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
