Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize