did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
