Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  i'd get off the bar first.

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  (216): my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing? (1-216): i'd get off the bar first. http://tfl.nu/xsi2
  Replies (18) Good night (602) Bad night (2781) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She just messaged me 19 sad faces.

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  (+44): She just messaged me 19 sad faces. http://tfl.nu/vblt
  Replies (25) Good night (762) Bad night (6169) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.

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  (386): Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target. http://tfl.nu/eg9l
  Replies (5) Good night (4020) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.

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  (601): If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender. http://tfl.nu/eg99
  Replies (1) Good night (1773) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.

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  (910): Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse. http://tfl.nu/i97p
  Replies (19) Good night (850) Bad night (2331) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.

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  (512): Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it. http://tfl.nu/4ruk
  Replies (5) Good night (2271) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.

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  (208): I think he just made me trade sex for my cat. http://tfl.nu/z4wg
  Replies (6) Good night (1693) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius

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  (254): Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius http://tfl.nu/icdq
  Replies (11) Good night (1742) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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  (616): I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady. http://tfl.nu/ufs6
  Replies (3) Good night (1868) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1354) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!

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  (303): Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday! http://tfl.nu/vtjz
  Replies (2) Good night (948) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.

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  (845): I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it. http://tfl.nu/kwag
  Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (285)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.

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  (307): i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears. http://tfl.nu/ndjg
  Replies (5) Good night (1238) Bad night (231) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.

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  (215): the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked. http://tfl.nu/uz4z
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.

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  (662): He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it. http://tfl.nu/e1a5
  Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt

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