the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos