He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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