Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
