And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
