All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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