does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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