You made me cry and you don't even care
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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