i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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