Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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