It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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