Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
