it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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