He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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