he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
