Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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