Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
