Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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