so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize