I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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