Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
