i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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