Dual....:-)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize