I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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