I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize