I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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