:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
