I hate your face
I am spending my child support on dildos
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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