I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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