So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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