i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
