Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
