haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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