Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My bed smells like the plague
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
