Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
where are you?
Hypothermia
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
