my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
