You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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