So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize