So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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