"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
