There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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