yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
