I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
