and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
