Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
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I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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