I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize