The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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