I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
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She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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