Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
