i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
