I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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